From time to time I have clients who have decided to move on from a drug or alcohol habit, or some other self-negating thing. And they often say, “It’s so hard, because when I go around to X’s house(/down the pub), they all still want to do that, but I don’t want to be in that atmosphere anymore.”
Which is a no-brainer. “So don’t be in that atmosphere.” Continue reading See You When We’re There!
One thing you should know about your mind, one of its prime directives, is that it seeks out the familiar: the familiar in ideas, situations, peer groups, relationships and just about everything else. From those 2 million pieces of information coming through your senses every second, anything that is already known or recognised is seized upon. Which is a GREAT skill when you are first building your internal model as a young child and one to continually challenge, shake up or even discard as you get older.
(This week’s news happened to mention research showing that learning new things and challenging your mind vastly reduces chances of dementia) Continue reading “Once Upon A Time… They All Lived In Increasingly Unpredictable Ways”
Quite often a client will state that they feel constantly tired. Or demotivated. Or defeated. Or stuck. “Stuck” is right up there at the top of the feeling charts for people, pre-session. “If only I had enough energy [they will say] I could get on top of things.” Or, “I just need to work harder at the relationship/ job /situation, but I’m so exhausted.” Etc etc. It seems a sensible enough premise: if they could access the energy needed, or feel rested and refreshed and raring to go, then they could tick all the boxes in their self-imposed life challenges.The answer to this conundrum, like so many answers, can be seen in children. We are, after all, born with the most amazing tool box to interface with this world, and when one of the tools doesn’t seem to be working, it’s worth remembering how we used it when it DID work well. Continue reading Zero Fat, Zero Sugar, Zero Caffeine, Zero Additives Energy! (A recipe)
There is a great story in First Nation US folklore about the origins of the crow. In the story, the crow was originally created in many beautiful colours and loved his colours deeply and how the light shone on them. But when he noticed his shadow, behind him, black as black, he became increasingly perturbed and started to peck at that shadow, to try and make it go away. Over time he became so obsessed with the shadow that he forgot about his colours entirely. All his attention was on the shadow and he pecked more and more… until the day that the shadow had had enough and pecked back, swallowing the crow up and leading to the black bird (with a shimmer of other colours) that we know today.
Continue reading Shadow Pecking!
Life coaches and gurus of various types will often advise you to “act as if” in order to manifest your deepest desires. There are all kinds of good reasons to “act as if” and one of them is that doing this draws other people into the game. We all learnt this at an early age: whether your fellow child went into doctor mode or cowboy or superhero or hairdresser/beauty consultant, the invitation and compulsion was there to play a corresponding role… and we carried right on as adults. Just put on a white coat, or a clerical collar, or a high-viz coat or carry a clipboard, or alternatively step out of a limo wearing Versace at the Oscars, and people will start to play along, even if they are not sure of the game yet.
Continue reading Damn it! (Or, alternatively, Bless It!)