Life coaches and gurus of various types will often advise you to “act as if” in order to manifest your deepest desires. There are all kinds of good reasons to “act as if” and one of them is that doing this draws other people into the game. We all learnt this at an early age: whether your fellow child went into doctor mode or cowboy or superhero or hairdresser/beauty consultant, the invitation and compulsion was there to play a corresponding role… and we carried right on as adults. Just put on a white coat, or a clerical collar, or a high-viz coat or carry a clipboard, or alternatively step out of a limo wearing Versace at the Oscars, and people will start to play along, even if they are not sure of the game yet.
Quite often, sometime deep into a session, a client who has come to me with a recurring behaviour or a set of feelings or some other part of their life weighing them down, will turn to me in a moment of bright-eyed discovery and say “Hey! I see now! This does not belong to me!”. It happened recently with someone who had felt burdened by something all his life and then discovered it was not his burden: it had come from one of his parents and he had never thought to set it down.
Here is a quick fun experiment for cat owners. Go find your cat right now and start telling him/her some bad things. Tell your moggy that the US has gone to the dogs (!) because of Trump, say that air pollution is at a record level, mention the imminent global crash as the EU breaks apart, talk about Putin, terrorists, fluoride and bird ‘flu (which is obviously just “man ‘flu” for birds).
I am willing to bet that little Tibbles (insert name as appropriate) just does his/her normal morning checks – food in the right place? what’s the weather doing? is my fave sleep place ready for me to curl up? etc. – and that heart rate and other functions will remain well in the green.
“Aha,” you say with the manic gleam that comes with playing these games, “But that’s because I can’t say it in cat language.”
I get more and more clients being fascinated by the techniques and tools I use and who are hungry to learn more and to have a new toolbox themselves to use in many areas of life. As a result, I am now offering the chance to spend a full day with me 1-2-1, a bespoke day shaped to whatever you want to learn, to the changes you want to make, to the results you want to get. A totally unlimited and transformational day, with much laughter along the way. Continue reading Bespoke Breakthrough Coaching Days
There is a classic thing that happens when a client comes to see a transformational coach or therapist like me. The question is posed to them, “So, tell me, what do you want? What do you really really want?” …and straight away there is an answer that starts with, “Well, I can tell you what I DON’T want. I DON’T want to be working in this dead-end job/living in the suburbs/ drinking six pints of cider every night etc.”
Right now in the US and around the world, marchers and protesters are telling us what they DON’T want (Trump) and back in 2016 the Brexiters also told us what they DIDN’T want (immigration and EU laws).