Life coaches and gurus of various types will often advise you to “act as if” in order to manifest your deepest desires. There are all kinds of good reasons to “act as if” and one of them is that doing this draws other people into the game. We all learnt this at an early age: whether your fellow child went into doctor mode or cowboy or superhero or hairdresser/beauty consultant, the invitation and compulsion was there to play a corresponding role… and we carried right on as adults. Just put on a white coat, or a clerical collar, or a high-viz coat or carry a clipboard, or alternatively step out of a limo wearing Versace at the Oscars, and people will start to play along, even if they are not sure of the game yet.
Quite often, sometime deep into a session, a client who has come to me with a recurring behaviour or a set of feelings or some other part of their life weighing them down, will turn to me in a moment of bright-eyed discovery and say “Hey! I see now! This does not belong to me!”. It happened recently with someone who had felt burdened by something all his life and then discovered it was not his burden: it had come from one of his parents and he had never thought to set it down.
Here is a quick fun experiment for cat owners. Go find your cat right now and start telling him/her some bad things. Tell your moggy that the US has gone to the dogs (!) because of Trump, say that air pollution is at a record level, mention the imminent global crash as the EU breaks apart, talk about Putin, terrorists, fluoride and bird ‘flu (which is obviously just “man ‘flu” for birds).
I am willing to bet that little Tibbles (insert name as appropriate) just does his/her normal morning checks – food in the right place? what’s the weather doing? is my fave sleep place ready for me to curl up? etc. – and that heart rate and other functions will remain well in the green.
“Aha,” you say with the manic gleam that comes with playing these games, “But that’s because I can’t say it in cat language.”
I am willing to bet that there is something you do regularly that you wish you didn’t. Something self-defeating perhaps, or something you do and then regret and then do again. And again.
Could be something as small as smoking or as big as repeated bad relationship choices, but there will be some kind of cycle involved and, probably, just when you thought you had it “beat”, kerr-pow there it is again, cropping up irresistibly.
Right about now there is lots of consternation, because things seem to be well and truly f***ed.
(I’m putting asterisks in there for the people who still believe that there is something shocking about an Anglo-Saxon word and not about a Greek/Latin derived one meaning the same thing: what deep hypnosis is that!)
Trump, Farage (rhymes with garage), Brexit, Putin, Syria, Bakeoff…. It would be easy to think that everything was falling apart.
And how great is that!