Tag Archives: Healing

The Other Side of The Fence!

When I was at school, we did a thing in maths called (at that point) “linear programming”. In this task we drew the axes of a graph and then had a problem to solve using lines that we produced on that graph. E.g. maybe we had to plan a birthday party where the budget, number of people, entertainments, catering etc. had to be planned on the graph so we could work out what was possible. Maybe the problem would tell us that we had to have an even number between 20 and 26 of party guests. Maybe the maximum budget was x amount. Maybe the clown cost £40 and if we wanted to add a musician it would be another £30. Each piece of information became a line on the graph, and then at the end, in the middle of the graph, would be an area fenced in by lines of what was possible.

Your beliefs are just like those lines.

Each belief you have – and remember, you may not even be consciously aware of all your beliefs – is like a line or a fence: one side represents what you regard as possible, the other side is impossible and therefore ignored.

EVERYTHING you do has beliefs attached, by the way: beliefs about the universe, about people in general and especially about how you fit into that picture with your own talents, values, identity… And so a person ends up looking at a small area, hemmed in by beliefs, of what is possible for them at that point in their lives.

You were NOT born with these beliefs. Not with any of them. You were unlimited.

And then, one by one, either borrowed from the significant adults around you, or from personal experiences, and most of all from the hero/heroine character that you developed for your story, these lines or fences appeared in your inner world and you accepted that the space inside the fences was where your life had to be lived.

(So many people come to me and say they feel “stuck” and all they can see are those fences hemming them in)

So, what would happen if you take back ownership of your fences, of your beliefs, and decided they are yours to place where you want?

Beliefs are changing all the time of course. Each time a sports feat is achieved, a new mountain ascent is managed, something previously thought impossible is conquered, then all the people in those fields move their internal fences a little further out and re-assess what they personally might be able to do. And suddenly there is a rush of achievement.

But it can be much much quicker than that. If there is a fence, a belief that was limiting you until now, simply re-write your hero’s characteristics to change that. You could do this easily by finding someone on this planet who has already moved back or removed entirely that particular internal fence, and borrow some of their characteristics, act just like them. Failing this, simply start to surf your imagination. Dream the dream of the person who no longer has that restricting belief. Make the dream bright, vivid, compelling. Water it daily as you trance out in the way you do on so many occasions.

I said above that you were born with no beliefs, but maybe there WAS one that informed that first period of rapid learning and exploration and maybe that belief was “anything is possible”

This message has been sponsored by Unlimited You! (Fence demolitions carried out, no job too large)

 

Damn it! (Or, alternatively, Bless It!)

Life coaches and gurus of various types will often advise you to “act as if” in order to manifest your deepest desires. There are all kinds of good reasons to “act as if” and one of them is that doing this draws other people into the game. We all learnt this at an early age: whether your fellow child went into doctor mode or cowboy or superhero or hairdresser/beauty consultant, the invitation and compulsion was there to play a corresponding role… and we carried right on as adults. Just put on a white coat, or a clerical collar, or a high-viz coat or carry a clipboard, or alternatively step out of a limo wearing Versace at the Oscars, and people will start to play along, even if they are not sure of the game yet.

Continue reading Damn it! (Or, alternatively, Bless It!)

If You Borrowed It, Then Give it Back! (In the name of all that is sacred)

Quite often, sometime deep into a session, a client who has come to me with a recurring behaviour or a set of feelings or some other part of their life weighing them down, will turn to me in a moment of bright-eyed discovery and say “Hey! I see now! This does not belong to me!”. It happened recently with someone who had felt burdened by something all his life and then discovered it was not his burden: it had come from one of his parents and he had never thought to set it down.

Continue reading If You Borrowed It, Then Give it Back! (In the name of all that is sacred)

A Quick Experiment For Cat Owners

Here is a quick fun experiment for cat owners. Go find your cat right now and start telling him/her some bad things. Tell your moggy that the US has gone to the dogs (!) because of Trump, say that air pollution is at a record level, mention the imminent global crash as the EU breaks apart, talk about Putin, terrorists, fluoride and bird ‘flu (which is obviously just “man ‘flu” for birds).

I am willing to bet that little Tibbles (insert name as appropriate) just does his/her normal morning checks – food in the right place? what’s the weather doing? is my fave sleep place ready for me to curl up? etc. – and that heart rate and other functions will remain well in the green.

“Aha,” you say with the manic gleam that comes with playing these games, “But that’s because I can’t say it in cat language.”

Continue reading A Quick Experiment For Cat Owners

Dealing with an Unpleasant Tick

I am willing to bet that there is something you do regularly that you wish you didn’t. Something self-defeating perhaps, or something you do and then regret and then do again. And again.

Could be something as small as smoking or as big as repeated bad relationship choices, but there will be some kind of cycle involved and, probably, just when you thought you had it “beat”, kerr-pow there it is again, cropping up irresistibly.

Continue reading Dealing with an Unpleasant Tick