One thing you should know about your mind, one of its prime directives, is that it seeks out the familiar: the familiar in ideas, situations, peer groups, relationships and just about everything else. From those 2 million pieces of information coming through your senses every second, anything that is already known or recognised is seized upon. Which is a GREAT skill when you are first building your internal model as a young child and one to continually challenge, shake up or even discard as you get older.
(This week’s news happened to mention research showing that learning new things and challenging your mind vastly reduces chances of dementia) Continue reading “Once Upon A Time… They All Lived In Increasingly Unpredictable Ways”
Imagine you have a friend, and that they like going to the movies. And like all of us, when they are in that movie theatre/cinema, deeply in the trance of what they are viewing and listening to, there will be times when they laugh, times when they cry, times when they smile with recognition, times that they relax and times that they tense up. All this is normal. We know how to make our bodies change heart rate, blood pressure, chemistry and every other aspect imaginable whilst we watch a movie. We are experts.
Continue reading ANXIETY! (A behaviour to unlearn easily)
Quite often, sometime deep into a session, a client who has come to me with a recurring behaviour or a set of feelings or some other part of their life weighing them down, will turn to me in a moment of bright-eyed discovery and say “Hey! I see now! This does not belong to me!”. It happened recently with someone who had felt burdened by something all his life and then discovered it was not his burden: it had come from one of his parents and he had never thought to set it down.
Continue reading If You Borrowed It, Then Give it Back! (In the name of all that is sacred)
There is a classic thing that happens when a client comes to see a transformational coach or therapist like me. The question is posed to them, “So, tell me, what do you want? What do you really really want?” …and straight away there is an answer that starts with, “Well, I can tell you what I DON’T want. I DON’T want to be working in this dead-end job/living in the suburbs/ drinking six pints of cider every night etc.”
Right now in the US and around the world, marchers and protesters are telling us what they DON’T want (Trump) and back in 2016 the Brexiters also told us what they DIDN’T want (immigration and EU laws).
Continue reading March For What You Love!
I am willing to bet that there is something you do regularly that you wish you didn’t. Something self-defeating perhaps, or something you do and then regret and then do again. And again.
Could be something as small as smoking or as big as repeated bad relationship choices, but there will be some kind of cycle involved and, probably, just when you thought you had it “beat”, kerr-pow there it is again, cropping up irresistibly.
Continue reading Dealing with an Unpleasant Tick