There’s a game we play with our children. Little Johnny or Janice fall and hurt themselves and we give them a kiss and “make it all better”. It’s a good game and a piece of magic, because the kiss/hug does, indeed, make it better. The game is that the parent is turning off the pain, but in fact it is the child who is learning to do that, giving themselves permission not to mind, not to feel bad/hurt, at a set signal.
Pain is not painful, after all, it is… only a message: and that message can be switched off when we don’t think we need it any more.
The game is only for children, though. Continue reading Kissing Yourself Better