Tag Archives: Breakthrough

Plastic Mind!

I often mention in my posts how probably the most common word I hear from clients is “stuck”. “Stuck” in a pattern of thinking, “stuck” in relationship with self, “stuck” in a cycle of repeating life situations… It’s not a great feeling. Imagine looking through the gate at a lush field of grass and wild flowers and the only way across you could see was the beaten track you’d taken every single time before. Or maybe you realised that you could go off-path but… then you started thinking about hidden snakes or dog mess or setting off your hay fever and decided to stay safe.

But then imagine if as you stood there a countryside warden came and adjusted the “footpath” arrow next to you – “This should point that way, we just realised” – and you spy, in the new direction, another gate and an exciting-looking meadow beyond, a glint of a stream.

Having made the recent decision that it is long overdue for our family to cut plastic consumption right down to as close to zero as can be done, I have been delightfully reminded just how easily the pointing arrow signs can be swivelled and how light on our feet and instantly-adaptable we are born to be.

When I first became veggie and then later vegan, within a hair’s breadth of time I started reading smallprint ingredients, noticing leather clothing, checking with chefs about cooking techniques. Food I had consumed without thinking before was now carefully scrutinised and often rejected in favour of new dishes and flavours. And it became second nature to do this, so so quickly. Other people saw it as hard work, I just saw it as the natural path. The destination was too tempting to resist and the path itself became a delight.

And so it has been with plastic. Whereas I had my internal filters set to allow plastic consumption to pass under the radar before, simply rolling my eyes at myself when it got (frequently) to recycling day, now I find that I am almost allergic to buying anything wrapped or boxed in the hateful stuff. This in only a month. And why? Because this is now the natural path.

Anytime you were feeling stuck, anytime the beaten track seemed just too barren and familiar, just remember that the mind is the most plastic thing going. As you nudge your identity and values and beliefs towards whatever is your truth, your new path, resplendent with blossoms and lazy bees and promise, will be clearly marked and impossible to miss.


See You When We’re There!

From time to time I have clients who have decided to move on from a drug or alcohol habit, or some other self-negating thing. And they often say, “It’s so hard, because when I go around to X’s house(/down the pub), they all still want to do that, but I don’t want to be in that atmosphere anymore.”

Which is a no-brainer. “So don’t be in that atmosphere.” Continue reading See You When We’re There!

Got Any ID Mate?

Sometime in the last few days I heard a radio interview with a man who had served over forty years in solitary confinement in the US prison system, a man who still seemed to have all his marbles despite only leaving his tiny cell for an hour a day during that time. (Bear in mind that Amnesty International regard more than two weeks in ‘solitary’ as torture and likely to affect mental health). When asked how he managed to get through that unimaginable and inhumane period, the man first mentioned that being one of the Black Panther movement, seeing himself as a dedicated Black Panther activist, was key. Continue reading Got Any ID Mate?

The Mating Game!

Spring has started springing and we all know what that means. An extra friskiness is in the air and many of us start to think about Mr/Ms Right (or Right Now) and the ol’ rollercoaster of ups and downs, of triumphs and heartbreaks is all poised to hit full speed once more. I know of several friends already well into the cycle, bless them!

Now there are two excellent ways to make sure that this is a ride you can thrill to, and after which you will remain injury free and tingling.

May I share them with you?

Strategy #1 is the simplest. Make a decision, just before you get on the ride, that you are going to enjoy every moment, even the moments you think you are going to die. If this seems like a tough thing to learn to do, fast forward in your mind to the last moment you spend here on Earth and think, as you look back, how beautiful and precious ALL those intense moments were. Seemingly good or seemingly bad, you LIVED those rollercoaster situations and the bitter and the sweet were all part of being so gloriously, feelingly, vulnerably ALIVE! With that perspective you can really treasure every part of whatever situation you get into.

Strategy #2 may be used in conjunction with #1, and it is about remembering, whatever role you choose in any given moment of the game, exactly who has the power and who is the worthwhile prize here! (Yes, it is you!) So… this strategy consists of first reminding yourself that “Perception is Projection”. Meaning it is impossible for you to notice anything great about your lover without that thing being already in you. In fact, you can go one step further and acknowledge that all those wonderful feelings that you experience(d) in any given relationship are feelings that YOU bring to the party, not gifts from that special someone. Feeling beautiful? Your lover is simply showing you the beauty of you, a beauty that stays there regardless of relationships.

At the same time, anything that you were particularly feeling had to come from someone else – approval and being “good enough” or “attractive enough” are the top faves in the perennial chart – can now be something that you consciously pour into yourself, rather than seeking them outside. Stand in front of the mirror, tell yourself how goddam sexy, wonderful, worthwhile you are. Cradle yourself gently. Treat yourself as the most precious person on the planet!

When you need nothing from your new playmate or partner, then you can really start to enjoy love (in all its forms) for the first time.

ANXIETY! (A behaviour to unlearn easily)

Imagine you have a friend, and that they like going to the movies. And like all of us, when they are in that movie theatre/cinema, deeply in the trance of what they are viewing and listening to, there will be times when they laugh, times when they cry, times when they smile with recognition, times that they relax and times that they tense up. All this is normal. We know how to make our bodies change heart rate, blood pressure, chemistry and every other aspect imaginable whilst we watch a movie. We are experts.

Continue reading ANXIETY! (A behaviour to unlearn easily)