Tag Archives: breakthrough thinking

The Mating Game!

Spring has started springing and we all know what that means. An extra friskiness is in the air and many of us start to think about Mr/Ms Right (or Right Now) and the ol’ rollercoaster of ups and downs, of triumphs and heartbreaks is all poised to hit full speed once more. I know of several friends already well into the cycle, bless them!

Now there are two excellent ways to make sure that this is a ride you can thrill to, and after which you will remain injury free and tingling.

May I share them with you?

Strategy #1 is the simplest. Make a decision, just before you get on the ride, that you are going to enjoy every moment, even the moments you think you are going to die. If this seems like a tough thing to learn to do, fast forward in your mind to the last moment you spend here on Earth and think, as you look back, how beautiful and precious ALL those intense moments were. Seemingly good or seemingly bad, you LIVED those rollercoaster situations and the bitter and the sweet were all part of being so gloriously, feelingly, vulnerably ALIVE! With that perspective you can really treasure every part of whatever situation you get into.

Strategy #2 may be used in conjunction with #1, and it is about remembering, whatever role you choose in any given moment of the game, exactly who has the power and who is the worthwhile prize here! (Yes, it is you!) So… this strategy consists of first reminding yourself that “Perception is Projection”. Meaning it is impossible for you to notice anything great about your lover without that thing being already in you. In fact, you can go one step further and acknowledge that all those wonderful feelings that you experience(d) in any given relationship are feelings that YOU bring to the party, not gifts from that special someone. Feeling beautiful? Your lover is simply showing you the beauty of you, a beauty that stays there regardless of relationships.

At the same time, anything that you were particularly feeling had to come from someone else – approval and being “good enough” or “attractive enough” are the top faves in the perennial chart – can now be something that you consciously pour into yourself, rather than seeking them outside. Stand in front of the mirror, tell yourself how goddam sexy, wonderful, worthwhile you are. Cradle yourself gently. Treat yourself as the most precious person on the planet!

When you need nothing from your new playmate or partner, then you can really start to enjoy love (in all its forms) for the first time.

ANXIETY! (A behaviour to unlearn easily)

Imagine you have a friend, and that they like going to the movies. And like all of us, when they are in that movie theatre/cinema, deeply in the trance of what they are viewing and listening to, there will be times when they laugh, times when they cry, times when they smile with recognition, times that they relax and times that they tense up. All this is normal. We know how to make our bodies change heart rate, blood pressure, chemistry and every other aspect imaginable whilst we watch a movie. We are experts.

Continue reading ANXIETY! (A behaviour to unlearn easily)

Damn it! (Or, alternatively, Bless It!)

Life coaches and gurus of various types will often advise you to “act as if” in order to manifest your deepest desires. There are all kinds of good reasons to “act as if” and one of them is that doing this draws other people into the game. We all learnt this at an early age: whether your fellow child went into doctor mode or cowboy or superhero or hairdresser/beauty consultant, the invitation and compulsion was there to play a corresponding role… and we carried right on as adults. Just put on a white coat, or a clerical collar, or a high-viz coat or carry a clipboard, or alternatively step out of a limo wearing Versace at the Oscars, and people will start to play along, even if they are not sure of the game yet.

Continue reading Damn it! (Or, alternatively, Bless It!)

A Quick Experiment For Cat Owners

Here is a quick fun experiment for cat owners. Go find your cat right now and start telling him/her some bad things. Tell your moggy that the US has gone to the dogs (!) because of Trump, say that air pollution is at a record level, mention the imminent global crash as the EU breaks apart, talk about Putin, terrorists, fluoride and bird ‘flu (which is obviously just “man ‘flu” for birds).

I am willing to bet that little Tibbles (insert name as appropriate) just does his/her normal morning checks – food in the right place? what’s the weather doing? is my fave sleep place ready for me to curl up? etc. – and that heart rate and other functions will remain well in the green.

“Aha,” you say with the manic gleam that comes with playing these games, “But that’s because I can’t say it in cat language.”

Continue reading A Quick Experiment For Cat Owners

Bespoke Breakthrough Coaching Days

Stop Press!

I get more and more clients being fascinated by the techniques and tools I use and who are hungry to learn more and to have a new toolbox themselves to use in many areas of life.  As a result, I am now offering the chance to spend a full day with me 1-2-1, a bespoke day shaped to whatever you want to learn, to the changes you want to make, to the results you want to get. A totally unlimited and transformational day, with much laughter along the way. Continue reading Bespoke Breakthrough Coaching Days