Imagine you have a friend, and that they like going to the movies. And like all of us, when they are in that movie theatre/cinema, deeply in the trance of what they are viewing and listening to, there will be times when they laugh, times when they cry, times when they smile with recognition, times that they relax and times that they tense up. All this is normal. We know how to make our bodies change heart rate, blood pressure, chemistry and every other aspect imaginable whilst we watch a movie. We are experts.
Right about now there is lots of consternation, because things seem to be well and truly f***ed.
(I’m putting asterisks in there for the people who still believe that there is something shocking about an Anglo-Saxon word and not about a Greek/Latin derived one meaning the same thing: what deep hypnosis is that!)
Trump, Farage (rhymes with garage), Brexit, Putin, Syria, Bakeoff…. It would be easy to think that everything was falling apart.
And how great is that!
On my flyers listing the areas in which I help people change their lives, one item is “Addictions”… but to be honest, I could pretty much cut out the rest of the list and use that as a heading for EVERYTHING I do, for the good people who come to me are, almost without exception, addicted to one pattern of behaviour, one set of feelings, and wanting to be free from that tyranny. Free to choose. Free to take the path they really want. Free to have …something new.
“Oh but come on, mate, that’s not a proper addiction, is it?” I hear you cry. “I mean, it’s not a physical thing like alcohol addiction” Continue reading Hit Me Baby…One More Time
Safe. You love to feel safe. And even when you choose to feel unsafe, you like to have your safe word, your emergency button, your get-out.
Many of my clients come to me and make a decision as to whether they can feel safe. They know when they are safe because of a feeling they get.
When you get the feeling of being safe, where is that feeling? Can you remember?
As a child you maybe played the game of not walking on the cracks in the pavement, so that the bears didn’t come up to grab you. You decided that if you avoided the cracks you were safe (although the thrill of the possibility of not being safe added to that pleasure). What have you replaced the pavement cracks with now in your safe/not safe game?
Do you only allow yourself to feel safe if the door is double locked? Or if your passwords are encrypted? Or if you are carrying your personal alarm?
In a wider sense, has avoiding the cracks been replaced with having nuclear weapons or a large military presence? With keeping out immigrants? With avoiding public transport? With keeping to “your own kind”? With striking before non-safety has even occurred, removing someone else’s safety so you can have yours?
Let’s go back to the bears and the cracks. And remember how you could stop playing that game in an eyeblink. You didn’t do it by walling yourself away from all pavement cracks, by double locks, by persuading your parents to buy up all paving stones and send them abroad, by cementing them all in so the bears were stuck. You just switched it off and decided to be safe. And you knew how to do that.
The “safe” game takes place in only one location (though its symptoms can be everywhere and sometimes quite horrible). That location is inside you. And all you have to do – your child self remembers – to be safe is to allow yourself to shine. Follow your passions. Be kind to yourself. Be true to your instincts. Stop squeezing little parts of you into the role of the cracks.
Feel safe right now. Where is that feeling? It is yours when you want it
One of the basic ideas behind NLP is that, whatever we do, whatever decisions we make and whatever behaviour we experience, we are always either at “cause” or “effect”. In other words, we are either in control or we are victims.
“Cause” (in control!) and “effect” (victim!) are programs we run, illusions if you like, and by changing from one to the other, by discovering that inside our vast unconscious model of the universe we have all the switches and controls to change everything from how our bodies operate to the results we get in relationships, career and just about everything else, we can always feel in control, always at “cause”.
Being in control would allow you to zap all those things you regarded as problems, don’t you think?