New book now out on Amazon in Kindle format! Paperback coming soon.
New book now out on Amazon in Kindle format! Paperback coming soon.
I often mention in my posts how probably the most common word I hear from clients is “stuck”. “Stuck” in a pattern of thinking, “stuck” in relationship with self, “stuck” in a cycle of repeating life situations… It’s not a great feeling. Imagine looking through the gate at a lush field of grass and wild flowers and the only way across you could see was the beaten track you’d taken every single time before. Or maybe you realised that you could go off-path but… then you started thinking about hidden snakes or dog mess or setting off your hay fever and decided to stay safe.
But then imagine if as you stood there a countryside warden came and adjusted the “footpath” arrow next to you – “This should point that way, we just realised” – and you spy, in the new direction, another gate and an exciting-looking meadow beyond, a glint of a stream.
Having made the recent decision that it is long overdue for our family to cut plastic consumption right down to as close to zero as can be done, I have been delightfully reminded just how easily the pointing arrow signs can be swivelled and how light on our feet and instantly-adaptable we are born to be.
When I first became veggie and then later vegan, within a hair’s breadth of time I started reading smallprint ingredients, noticing leather clothing, checking with chefs about cooking techniques. Food I had consumed without thinking before was now carefully scrutinised and often rejected in favour of new dishes and flavours. And it became second nature to do this, so so quickly. Other people saw it as hard work, I just saw it as the natural path. The destination was too tempting to resist and the path itself became a delight.
And so it has been with plastic. Whereas I had my internal filters set to allow plastic consumption to pass under the radar before, simply rolling my eyes at myself when it got (frequently) to recycling day, now I find that I am almost allergic to buying anything wrapped or boxed in the hateful stuff. This in only a month. And why? Because this is now the natural path.
Anytime you were feeling stuck, anytime the beaten track seemed just too barren and familiar, just remember that the mind is the most plastic thing going. As you nudge your identity and values and beliefs towards whatever is your truth, your new path, resplendent with blossoms and lazy bees and promise, will be clearly marked and impossible to miss.
From time to time I have clients who have decided to move on from a drug or alcohol habit, or some other self-negating thing. And they often say, “It’s so hard, because when I go around to X’s house(/down the pub), they all still want to do that, but I don’t want to be in that atmosphere anymore.”
Which is a no-brainer. “So don’t be in that atmosphere.” Continue reading See You When We’re There!
Sometime in the last few days I heard a radio interview with a man who had served over forty years in solitary confinement in the US prison system, a man who still seemed to have all his marbles despite only leaving his tiny cell for an hour a day during that time. (Bear in mind that Amnesty International regard more than two weeks in ‘solitary’ as torture and likely to affect mental health). When asked how he managed to get through that unimaginable and inhumane period, the man first mentioned that being one of the Black Panther movement, seeing himself as a dedicated Black Panther activist, was key. Continue reading Got Any ID Mate?
When I was at school, we did a thing in maths called (at that point) “linear programming”. In this task we drew the axes of a graph and then had a problem to solve using lines that we produced on that graph. E.g. maybe we had to plan a birthday party where the budget, number of people, entertainments, catering etc. had to be planned on the graph so we could work out what was possible. Maybe the problem would tell us that we had to have an even number between 20 and 26 of party guests. Maybe the maximum budget was x amount. Maybe the clown cost £40 and if we wanted to add a musician it would be another £30. Each piece of information became a line on the graph, and then at the end, in the middle of the graph, would be an area fenced in by lines of what was possible.
Your beliefs are just like those lines.
Each belief you have – and remember, you may not even be consciously aware of all your beliefs – is like a line or a fence: one side represents what you regard as possible, the other side is impossible and therefore ignored.
EVERYTHING you do has beliefs attached, by the way: beliefs about the universe, about people in general and especially about how you fit into that picture with your own talents, values, identity… And so a person ends up looking at a small area, hemmed in by beliefs, of what is possible for them at that point in their lives.
You were NOT born with these beliefs. Not with any of them. You were unlimited.
And then, one by one, either borrowed from the significant adults around you, or from personal experiences, and most of all from the hero/heroine character that you developed for your story, these lines or fences appeared in your inner world and you accepted that the space inside the fences was where your life had to be lived.
(So many people come to me and say they feel “stuck” and all they can see are those fences hemming them in)
So, what would happen if you take back ownership of your fences, of your beliefs, and decided they are yours to place where you want?
Beliefs are changing all the time of course. Each time a sports feat is achieved, a new mountain ascent is managed, something previously thought impossible is conquered, then all the people in those fields move their internal fences a little further out and re-assess what they personally might be able to do. And suddenly there is a rush of achievement.
But it can be much much quicker than that. If there is a fence, a belief that was limiting you until now, simply re-write your hero’s characteristics to change that. You could do this easily by finding someone on this planet who has already moved back or removed entirely that particular internal fence, and borrow some of their characteristics, act just like them. Failing this, simply start to surf your imagination. Dream the dream of the person who no longer has that restricting belief. Make the dream bright, vivid, compelling. Water it daily as you trance out in the way you do on so many occasions.
I said above that you were born with no beliefs, but maybe there WAS one that informed that first period of rapid learning and exploration and maybe that belief was “anything is possible”
This message has been sponsored by Unlimited You! (Fence demolitions carried out, no job too large)