Taking Away The Price Tags in Relationships!

Where to start as you redesign the energy weave that creates the illusion of your universe? As you change shapes and meanings and find that your own light and all the other lights strung out perfectly as far as can be seen shine brighter now.

One good place can be in your relationships, your interactions with those others.

Think about the “hook” you are carrying around to find friends and lovers and enemies and all the other characters of your internal, non-existent drama. Think about the invisible “you scratch my back and I will scratch yours” element to your internal model, the “script” (in psychologist jargon) that your unconscious wanted to play out as it fits together with others’ internal models.
“If you do xyz I will know that I can trust you”

“I used to love you but then you did that thing and it meant I couldn’t love you anymore”

“As long as you don’t hurt me I will be your friend”


Remember. All this is being played out inside you. In your model. It is not “out there”.

You know, sometimes, one of my children will say to the other “Hey. Don’t touch my new xxxx! I will be really angry”. I show them what this does. I hold out my hand with a penny in it and say “I want you not to take this penny, whatever happens, this is my magical special penny that nobody is allowed to touch!” And of course they reach out to take it immediately, grinning away.

The trust, or love or hurt thing is the same. It is a line in the sand, and just like the penny game, it is set up to produce a certain result. It is, if you like, a set of filters making sure that we capture a moment where we can allow ourselves to feel unloved or betrayed or hurt.

“Here is my heart…. Don’t break it!”

“Here are our Western beliefs about ourselves.. Don’t question them!”

What would happen instead if you hold out NO invisible pennies, if you decide that EVERYONE you meet should be exactly as they are and behave in exactly the way that they feel is right for their moment in the journey?

“I trust you to be yourself. I love you for being yourself. I know that it would be crazy for me to feel ‘hurt’ from you being you!”

When you let other people be exactly who they feel they need to be, then you set them (and you) free. And you will never be disappointed.

This is not the point at which you give up on making the world a “better place”. It is the point at which you become powerful in doing that.

Hey! Of course you are still free to choose your company! That person who makes the whole room light up with their energy might be someone you want to be around a lot, the one who darkens things might be someone to avoid. But it is up to you who you stick around and who you distance yourself from. If you want to, you can take all conditions and price tag out of all your relationships!

“Oh baby, you make me feel so good, reborn, so excited with life”

now becomes…

“Oh baby, when I am around you I allow myself to feel so good, reborn and excited with life, things that I had inside me anyway and that it is easy to take out and enjoy in your company”

One thing is for sure: if you noticed that you were attracting people that seemed to make you feel bad in a particular way, then that is something for YOU to heal in yourself, not them.

I wonder how long it will be before YOU become the person who brings the light?

[Edited excerpt from my forthcoming book “Your Life Does Not Exist”]

Leave a Reply