Meet your most powerful tool for change: the power to let go! To let go of people, things, beliefs, situations, the past and the future! To let go of anything and everything.
Imagine, for a moment, that any time you made a decision to “hold on” to anything in your life, a kind of sticky, chewing-gummy, holding-on energy cord* snaked out from you and attached itself to that particular object of your fascination, desire, fear, memory etc.. And because it snaked out at exactly that moment, that energy cord reflects and stores the ways in which you felt on some level you were incomplete without that person, place, thing, situation.
That’s right… YOU, unlimited and beautiful as you are (don’t look around you, it is YOU I am talking to)… you got tied for a while into less than you are and less than you deserve. And until you are able to remove that holding-on (right now!) you were cramped, bound, heavy on your feet and unable to blossom.
Perhaps it was the moment you said, “Oh my darling, I could never live without you.” Or perhaps it was that bad thing that happened once, one photo-shopped snapshot of the past that you have frozen into place, along with all the connotations it carried. Perhaps it was even seeing someone else with a car/income/job/relationship/body that you really wanted yet didn’t have, and the sensation of “want” and “not having” was locked there since by the sticky energy?
The Buddhists would say that all problems carry a gift. They (the problems, not the Buddhists) are magic doors to your greater enlightenment. We in NLP and Hypnotherapy and related healing arts have a similar notion. We believe there is something important you need to learn, accept or understand in order to let go and move on: a shining pearl of wisdom, usually about yourself. As soon as you can do this, KAZAM the energy cord, the clinging, is gone forever and you are shining just a little (or a lot!) brighter. If you were sitting in my client’s chair right now and your unconscious mind took you back to that situation, you might well discover something important: such as, the great feelings you thought your lover gave you before he/she left were things that you already had inside you anyway, not a gift from them; or such as, the terrible thing someone did to you did not then and could not ever diminish your light: the shadow from that time was their shadow, not yours. And learning this, you can suddenly find yourself believing in yourself, becoming more powerful, trusting yourself and trusting others to be what they are, too. Even better, as you are no longer “locked” into that old belief or situation, the space within you and around you is freed to welcome something much more sparkling!
Now, it might seem cold or lonely or scary to let go of stuff. You might say something like “But this is what defines me” or “I don’t want to let go of those I love, I want to hold tight and to bind us together”.
The truth is, if you empty that space of all your old sticky energy, empty the space between you and your loved ones, and between you and the situations and parts of your life, then the way you touch each person or circumstance is without price tag, without hidden agenda, without neediness. And that’s when the REAL magic starts.
So, when you meet that cutie and think “This could be the one!”, be sure to say as you gaze into each other’s eyes… “Baby, every day I will let you go just a little bit more. That’s how much I love you.”
More on this in the next blog!
* Sticky energy and energy cords are ideas that one finds in all kinds of traditions. The Hawaiin Kahunas would recommend regular ceremonies to remove these cords from all around you.